Fragment Ointment: Applying Care at the Right Time

We sat in a circle around a small table on which a single purple candle burned. After slowing reading together on of the psalms from the Hebrew Bible, one of the women read a passage from the Gospel of John. It was a familiar story.

Jesus was in Bethany at the home of his friends Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. While Martha was serving the food, Mary came in with a pound a very expensive ointment. She poured it on the feet of Jesus. The fragrance filled the house. Judas asked, “Why waste the ointment rather than sell it and give the money to the poor?” Jesus explains, “She has done me a kindness. While I am still with you, she is messaging my feet rather than till my funeral.”

As we sat in silence, reflecting on the reading, I could not help but think of my mother. She’s very arthritic.. Standing or slowly shuffling with the walker causes her great pain. Often she cannot sleep because her knees ache so badly.

Every few hours throughout the day, as I visit with her in her room, I take a care of ointment. Liberally, I rub the ointment on her knees. As I do, I can sense her body relax. When I am finished, she always thanks me, telling me what a difference the ointment makes.

For three years, my partner and I have cared for my mother in our home. We agree that it is the right thing for her. As I think of rubbing the ointment to her sore, aching knees, I am grateful to be able to do this for her while she is still with me. For the day will come when she is gone. What good will the ointment be to her then?

Many people think of caring for elderly parents as a burden. Because it is an inconvenience, far too many abandon their parents in nursing homes. While it is true that having my mother with us has meant that we have had to rearrange many aspects of our lives, I would not want to see her anywhere else.

After she passes, there will be opportunities to do other things, both for ourselves and for others. But now, while she is with us, we anoint her with ointment throughout the day and are thankful to have time to share with her.