A Spiritually Grounded Response to the Culture Wars

There are times when I get so angry that I just don’t know how to contain myself. Like when I received email from a colleague about events one Sunday at her church. Members of a national organized opposed to gay marriage picketed her church because they perform gay marriages. While the police provided a presence to prevent violence, members of the group came into the service and during the service asked if they could testify. They actually attempted to try to disrupt Sunday worship to speak against gay-marriage! How shocking it is that people show up at a church service intent to disrupt it because they have a different political position!

There are times when I get so sad that I just can’t be consoled. Like when the members of the Baptist church in Alabama refused to host the marriage of the African-American couple who worshiped in that very church. How tragic it is when a religion centered on the teaching “love your neighbor” treats other so cruelly!

There are times when I get so perplexed that I just can’t imagine how the situation occurred. Like when I encounter people working multiple jobs without benefits, who can barely make ends meet, yet insist that the Affordable Health Care Act would be a bad thing for them. How heart-breaking it is that people have been convinced that something that would only benefit them should be viewed as wrong!

There are times I am thankful, yes, there are many times I am thankful, because a spiritual perspective keeps me rooted and grounded despite all the emotions of the so-called “culture wars” in the United States. While I don’t agree with the political positions or religious beliefs held by people in the situations described above, the intensity of my emotion is more about me than it is about them. I understand that this kind of anger, sadness, and confusion is rooted in my desire for people to be different from who they are. It is because of the role spirituality has in my life that I can identify my own culpability in these emotions.

From a certain perspective, I have reason to feel deeply about many of these issues. I have been personally confronted by people who have told me that as a Christian minister, I “lead people astray” by supporting marriage equality and a pro-choice position. Some people have told me that I’m going to hell while others have said that they hope I will suffer in this life. When I’ve had the opportunity, I’ve attempted to reason with various people, particularly when those holding positions different from mine have told me that I am hate-filled. To the best of my ability, I attempt to refrain from returning evil for evil.

I can’t change the positions taken by others. It’s become clear that the United States has become so polarized that dialogue is generally not possible with people who have taken positions on things like abortion, gay marriage, immigration, health care, and the role of the government in the economy. I read, learn, attempt to listen to the experience of others, and critically think about these issues. I recognize that my positions have evolved over time because of these engagements. But, when the Texas Board of Education considers no longer teaching critical thinking, it’s clear that it’s just not possible to be reasonable with many people who hold views different from mine.

Instead, there are two things I know that I can do. The first is to give up the illusion that I have any ability to bring change to other people’s thinking. My intense emotions reflect some desire that people would be different. I know as a therapist that people only change when they choose to. So, I need to let go of whatever illusion I have that people will be different from who they are: less racist, less homophobic, less xenophobic, less sexist, and so forth. Second, I can work to create a world that is more respectful, more tolerant, more appreciative of diversity that also provides better safeguards on individual’s rights and ability to pursue happiness. Creating such a world requires that I become more of the type of person who lives out positive values of respect and tolerance.

Indeed, I am grateful because a spiritual perspective keeps me rooted and grounded despite all the emotions of the so-called “culture wars” in the United States. My anger and sadness only contribute to the divide among people in the United States. By working to create a better world, I am better able to be part of the solution rather than add to the problem.