Kindness of Strangers: A Train to a Better World

We know the teaching:  Love one another.  Most days, we hardly acknowledge the people who pass us by.  But last month, while training in Europe, I experienced repeated kindness from strangers.  It was awe-inspiring for me.  In this video, I share some of what occurred.

The following is a text version of this blog.

Recently, I spent a few weeks in Europe.  It began as a family vacation.  But the last week I was on my own, traveling by train to visit a couple of friends.  During the week when I was on my own, I spent a couple of ten-hour days traveling by train.  In North America, traveling by train is rare.  Many people have never taken a train ride other than on a subway.  In Europe, trains are a primary way to travel. 

While I got to my destinations as scheduled, there were a couple of close calls where I almost missed connections.  I also had other unexpected encounters with people on the trains.  As I look back on it, I’m surprised to realize that my experience of traveling by train in Europe gives me hope for humanity. 

I boarded one train that was overbooked.  There were simply not enough seats for everyone.  While I had an assigned seat, someone was already in my seat.  I asked to compare tickets and, indeed, we were both assigned to the same seat.  I wasn’t sure what to do.  I began looking for an attendant and clearly must have had a confused and distressed look on my face as people were already claiming prime standing spots on the crowded train.  Unexpectedly, a man came up behind me – another passenger – and asked, “Do you need help?”  I explained the situation and said I wasn’t sure where to find an attendant.  He guided me to an attendant and explained to her my situation.  In the end, the attendant found me a seat.  Perhaps I would have figured it out on my own, but the other passenger made the process much easier.

Another train was delayed coming into the station.  As luck would have it, I needed to get from a platform at one end of the station to a platform at the other end of the station with little time.  Moving through the crowd of people, I was almost there.  I waved to the attendant that I was coming and he signaled that I should run.  However, with my bags and, more importantly, with my arthritis, running isn’t something I can do very well.  Unexpectedly, another passenger jumped off the train, ran to me and grabbed my bags.  He lightened the load and got me quickly on the train.  As I boarded, the doors closed and the train began moving.  When I turned to thank the man who assisted me, he was already into the next car and going on his way to his seat.

Time and again, I felt like the character Blanche from A Street Car Named Desire who famously said, “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”  It wasn’t just that strangers provided help when I needed it, they extended themselves without being asked.  Even more, my fellow passengers were open to conversations and shared about their families, their work, and their travels.  I had originally planned to read during these long train rides, but I did very little reading because of the great conversations.

As I reflect on my experiences on the trains in Europe, what strikes me most are the connections with other people.  There was an awareness of our shared humanity, the need to assist others as well as to simply be kind.  Yes, I recognize that my experience is shaped by being an older white man.  Others may have very different experiences.  But my experience helps to illustrate the kind of world we could have if we treated others with respect, if we were compassionate toward those in need, and, yes, if we offered kindness to strangers.

I’m fortunate to live in Atlanta, where people are friendly and often speak with strangers.  But being in a new place and receiving kindness from strangers helped me to see that we can live better lives simply by being aware of others.  Yes, the Buddhist teachings on compassion and the message of Jesus to love one another, recognizing that even strangers are neighbors, are of great importance for the daily fabric of our lives.  We have within us the ability to make the world a kinder place. That begins with kindness.