Hope: It’s the Hardest Thing

Living with hope, especially when life is hard, is difficult for most of us.  But when we lose hope, when we give up on hope, we’re left in a bad way. Learning how to nurture hope is critical for our lives. In this video, I talk about hope and how to nurture hope as a spiritual practice.

The following is a text version of this blog.

Hope is confusing to many people.  When it comes to hope, some people are overly rational and think that hope is wishful thinking.  Others, particularly religious people, confuse hope with faith.  They think that belief is the same as hope.  When people face difficulties in life, hope is vital to move forward.  But it’s also the most difficult thing to build and sustain.

I’m in awe of some of the people I know who maintain hope.  A friend of mine recently called me.  He shared that he had a new job.  Of course, I congratulated him.  But I misunderstood what he was telling me.  I knew he was working two jobs and having trouble making ends meet.  I thought when he said he had a new job, it meant he was now working one job.  He told, “You’re counting in the wrong direction.  I now have three jobs.  With three jobs, I can afford to pay my bills.”  He was excited and felt hopeful for his future.  I wondered how he could manage three jobs while having some concerns for his health.  It’s the health issues that put him in debt.

There’s a woman in my neighborhood who maintains hope.  After cancer treatment, including surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, she found that she was unable to work.  While the cancer appears to be treated, other health issues have come up.  She keeps applying for disability compensation but has been rejected.  She’s turned the application over to her Medicaid social worker for help.  In the meantime, she’s spent down her meager retirement and is struggling to pay utility bills.  But she hopes for a better day.

What I know from both of these people is that they didn’t just become hopeful people when difficulties came into their lives.  Instead, they were taught to nurture hope along the way.  Talking with both of them, I understand that they learned simple lessons starting early in life.  Those lessons included being thankful for waking up in the morning and saying a prayer of thanks before meals.  Over time, they learned to be thankful for the beauty around them:  sunshine or rain, the friendliness of strangers, and laughter with friends.  This appreciation and gratitude for ordinary things in life became the foundation of their hope.

It’s not that they hope to win the lottery or have an unexpected inheritance of wealth.  Instead, they are hopeful that each day they will experience something good, something positive, something promising that will offset the difficulties of life.  That life is difficult is something they know very well.  But what they also know very well is that even in difficulty, there is beauty, goodness, love, and kindness.  They hope to experience life’s goodness in new and unexpected ways every day.  That keeps them going for the next tomorrow.

I know other people who talk about faith and hope.  They are very specific.  There’s one person I know who hopes to be a musical star.  He has some talent.  Maybe he’ll catch a break.  But he’s focused on one possible outcome:  being a star.  That focus prevents him from experiencing good things that come into his life each day.  His mood swings up and down based on external success.  If he does well in a music competition, he’s very positive.  But if doesn’t, well, it’s as though the bottom has fallen out of his life.  This isn’t hope.  Instead, it’s working toward a goal.  It’s a goal he may or may not achieve.  While it’s good to have goals, it’s even better to appreciate goodness and beauty in life each and every day.  Hope focuses on experiencing that daily goodness.

Hope is an internal strength, a kind of resilience.  It’s not based on what happens around us or what others do or say to us.  Hope is a way of living or an outlook on life.  It acknowledges that good things and bad things come our way, but hope leads us to hold onto the good – even when the good is in the form of small experiences.  Ultimately, it’s hope that sustains us and gets us through all of life’s twists and turns.

Hope is the hardest thing because it is built on our willingness to be open to possibility, to find goodness, and to trust that life has something worthwhile for us.  In my mind, hope is an important spiritual practice.  It’s hope that sustains us today and leads us forward for all of our tomorrows.