He sat in my office and shared his frustration. “I don’t know why it doesn’t work for me. After my wife started, I read articles about it and know it’s a healthy practice. But I just can’t sit still to meditate.”
Doug, in his late thirties, was professional and well-educated. He traveled for work and maintained a routine of regular exercise early morning. His wife had begun practice in meditation. The method was similar to Zen and Centering Prayer. Thinking that it would be good for them to share this practice, Doug took a class from her teacher and started attending a meditation group with his wife. “I sit there and rather than getting quiet, I just want to get away. It’s like something comes over me and I can’t sit still.”
Doug spoke with the teacher about the problem. She suggested that because of his busy life and perhaps because he was so used to background noise, like TV or music, that it was just difficult to be silent. “Give it time,” the teacher advised.
In general, her advice wasn’t bad. Many people have difficulty sitting in silence because their world full of noise. Many people wake up in the morning and turn on something to produce sound. Even when walking or enjoying outdoors, many people wear ear-buds to listen to music. Silence has become out of place in the world today.
While some people have difficulty maintaining silence because they aren’t used to it, I didn’t think that this was the problem Doug experienced. Instead, some people find it difficult to sit in silent meditation because of neurology.
Those of us who practice meditation and find it to be a transcendent kind of experience have particular brain wave activity occurring during meditation. Not everyone has the brain wave pattern during meditation that is related to that transcendent experience. Some people experience the silence as empty, as though nothing was there. Others experience something at a kinesthetic level that makes them want to get away from the silence. As the man shared with me his experience of wanting to get away, I suspected this may be the case for him.
I asked Doug if there was a time of day or a particular activity he did that cleared his head and his mind became quiet. He perked up immediately. “Yes! I run. When I’m running, it’s like every thing is clear and my mind is free.”
As Doug explained this, I remembered speaking with Native American healers who told me about the value of running. They explained that when someone in the military returns to the community after deployment, healers often recommend that they begin distance running. There are different stories associated with running that have to do with leaving enemy spirits behind. It seems that the traditional healers stumbled onto something about running and mental activity: in running, one can let go of fears and anxieties and begin to reintegrate a sense of wholeness through steady physical activity.
As I spoke with the man who couldn’t practice sitting meditation, I shared with him the wisdom of about spiritual practice: “Pray as you can, and don’t try to pray as you can’t.” This was the council given by John Chapman, a British Benedictine abbot who lived a century ago. Chapman understood that when it comes to spiritual practice, one size doesn’t fit all.
In speaking with Doug, I suggested that he attempt to become more mindful while running. It was my intention to later suggest further mindful practices if it proved to be helpful while running.
As helpful as a traditional sitting meditation can be, many people find simple mindfulness or forms of discursive meditation to be practices that are more helpful to them. Discursive meditation approaches actively use the mind to imagine various kinds of things. Discursive meditation includes the practices of imaging oneself as part of the story from a sacred text. Other forms of discursive meditation include visualizing things like peace enveloping the world, an active process of forgiveness of another, or extending compassion to others or to oneself. There are forms of discursive meditation found in all of the world’s great religious traditions, just as there are forms of silent meditation.
Whether silent meditation wasn’t right for this man, or whether it wasn’t the right time in his life to practice silent meditation, I think the best suggestion I could offer was the wisdom of Abbot John: “Pray as you can, and don’t try to pray as you can’t.” In time, Doug found that this wisdom proved to be true for him as he learned to quiet his mind.