It’s a statement I’ve heard in various forms. It goes something like this. “I respect all spiritual paths.” Another version of this same perspective is, “Everyone has a right to her own beliefs.” Or another similar perspective is this: “All paths lead to the same source.”
All of these statements sound as though they affirm diversity and respect others. But I want to suggest that such statements are at least a bit naïve if not misguided. As we’ve seen in recent news, including Dylan Roof’s shooting of members of Emmanuel AME in Charleston, SC, a person’s beliefs can lead to dangerous consequences for others.
I am not attempting to suggest that one of the great spiritual traditions is better than others or that the teachings of one religion are truer than others. Instead, I am aware that spiritual traditions, religions, and beliefs can be easily manipulated and lead to the harm of individuals and the wider community.
When I maintained a private practice as a psychologist, I worked with several individuals who had been members of cults. The cults drew on tenants from various belief systems. I recall one that mixed Hindu and Buddhist practices and beliefs; another that called itself “Independent Methodist;” and another led by a Native American man who taught a kind of pan-Indian approach to spirituality. I worked with clients who were members of self-styledcults as well. Each of the people with whom I worked that had left cults were very badly hurt and experienced various levels of trauma related to physical and sexual abuse in addition to the spiritual abuse. While I appreciate that these people got involved with these groups in hopes to find a sense of wholeness for themselves, the so-called spiritual path they followed was destructive. These were not paths to be respected.
I also don’t accept that all beliefs should be respected. The world has known great destruction because one group believed that it was superior to another group. Such beliefs — essentially prejudices in disguise — have led to the subjugation of various races of people, of women, and sexual minorities, and of every other category of minority status determined by those in power.
What I do respect is a spiritual path that leads the individual to respect and reverence the person’s own life, the life of others, and life in our world. A spiritual path should lead an individual to become a better person: more whole and more fully alive. A spiritual path should enable people to live in mutual relationship with others. In other words, a spiritual path should be formative rather than deformative and destructive. A spiritual path should lead to the betterment of people rather than harm or hatred.
While my perspective on what it means to respect the spiritual path of another is rooted in my experience in mental health and working with people who have been victimized, it is grounded in the Judeo-Christian tradition. The ancient Hebraic story of the creation of humanity conveys that the very life of the Divine was breathed into us. There is something about our nature which is part of the Divine essence. From that, each person has a fundamental dignity and right to be respected. Conversely, when something diminishes that fundamental dignity, as happens when people are abused and manipulated, it is morally wrong. So-called spiritual teachers who abuse and manipulate others are not people to be respected or held in esteem. That’s true when those spiritual leaders are part of the Islamic State or an Evangelical Christian group. They may be very wounded people themselves. However, I would suggest that it is appropriate for those who recognize the manipulations and distortions to avoid glossing over the significant problems with naïve statements like, “every spiritual path should be respected.” Making such statements when people are being harmed is giving tacit approval to the abuse.
Similarly, the statement of Jesus found in the gospel of Matthew, chapter 7, verse 16, “You will know them by their fruit,” is an admonishment to take note of those who bring good into the world versus those who diminish the value of others. From this perspective, a spiritual path should bring wholeness within a person and right-relationship with others.
I have a great respect for the authenticity of the spiritual paths of those who journey in ways different from me. But I am also keenly aware that the world is filled with those who use religion and spirituality to abuse and victimize others. Some of it is blatant, like when followers are taught to hate others or label them as evil and perverse. Some abuse is also subtle, where followers are taught to not trust themselves or others.
Over time, I have learned to be discerning and to carefully attend to what others tell and show me about their spiritual path. I attempt to be respectful in my discernment and learn with an open heart and mind. But I also pay attention to whether growth is toward wholeness or toward the judgment of others. Just because someone calls it “spiritual” does not mean it’s something good.
It takes courage to swim against the tide like this, Lou. Your reminding us of Jesus’ discernment method — we can know them by their fruit — is wise. And difficult. For me, it’s harder to acknowledge that a particular person’s path is not to be respected than to take the easier way of “I respect all spiritual paths.” Thich Nhat Hanh has a nine-fold prayer of compassion that I say each morning after I meditate. He asks that for each prayer (e.g., “May I/we/they be happy, light, and free in body and mind; may I/we/they be free from injury and life in safety; may I/we/they be free from disturbance, fear, worry, and anxiety; etc.”) you repeat each of the nine prayers once for yourself, once for those whom you love and care most about, once for others you care about more distantly, once for those whom you personally dislike, and once for those whom you disrespect or who bring pain and suffering into the world. Every morning, I find myself praying thus for my loved ones and friends, of course, but also for people like racists of all kinds, Donald Trump (public sower of discord and contempt), the leaders of ISIS, the members of the anti-gay church in Topeka, KS. This discipline helps me to separate my disrespect for their paths (even when they consider themselves good servants of God) from my need to practice compassion and generosity toward all living beings. I really appreciate your posting this article and helping us to think through a very tricky issue that lies at the heart of why it’s so hard to struggle against injustice embodied in real people. Thank you.