I’m like many other people. I live with physical pain. I’ve not wanted to write about this because I know others have much more serious pain than I do. Also, I’m not looking for remedies. I take appropriate care of myself, but nonetheless, I live with physical pain.
I have arthritis. It runs in my family. It’s impacted my knees, hips, and shoulders. Over the last year, it seems to have moved to my back. Some days are worse than others. Few days are truly pain-free. I do what I can to ease the pain. I’ve lost about thirty pounds and plan to lose more. I exercise almost daily. I use over-the-counter pain killers and also pay attention to my kidney and liver functions because of the pain killers.
Over time, I’ve come to understand pain as a normal part of my life. Once I accepted it, the pain became an important spiritual teacher.
Pain gets our attention in ways that nothing else does. It prevents us from doing things in the ways we normally would. For example, there are times when I need to think before I do simple things like standing up or sitting down: how am I doing this so I don’t cause myself sharp pain? Pain makes me mindful of my movements and actions from moment to moment.
Mindfulness related to pain comes in other ways as well. Sometimes I’ll be sitting in the living room doing nothing at all for a few minutes. It appears as though I’m just staring off into space. A few times, my partner has asked, “What are you doing?” with a quizzical look on his face. I’ll explain that I’m not doing anything. However, when I’m sitting in a way that I am pain-free, I allow myself to just be present and mindful in that comfortable experience. I’m simply appreciating that moment. I want it to last.
Pain causes me to be very mindful of my body. It’s an important exercise in awareness. But even more, I’ve had to learn to maintain a positive outlook and respond to others kindly even when in pain. That was really difficult for me at first. Fourteen or fifteen years ago, I’d become very irritable when I had trouble walking up stairs or felt sharp pain coming down the stairs. Then there were the nights when I couldn’t get comfortable enough in bed to sleep. I would be miserable the next day. Now, I’ve learned to say to myself things like: “You didn’t sleep well. That’s okay. It’s a new day. Focus on enjoying it.” I have mostly learned to not act out of my discomfort but to respond to others out of compassion and care for them. (Note: I said “mostly.” This is still an ongoing learning process for me.)
While pain plays an important role in our lives because it alerts us to something wrong, in itself, pain doesn’t have a spiritual value. Ascetics have caused themselves pain with the belief that it somehow was good for them, like St. Francis of Assisi rolling around without clothes in the bramble patch. There’s nothing holy about that or other practices like hair shirts and beating oneself. But when pain is unavoidable, it presents an opportunity to learn something we may not have considered. That’s true for all experiences in life. While it’s important to treat pain properly, we can also learn about ourselves and life.
Yes, pain can distract us from the usual routines of meditation, prayer, and spiritual practice. That’s very real and is one of those things to just accept. But pain can draw us from ordinary awareness to consider ourselves and our experience of the moments of life very differently. For me, and perhaps for others, it helps to keep me mindful of the present moment and very aware of myself. The future and the past fade. When I’m in pain, I’m in the present moment.
Yes, above all: treat your pain properly. Do what you can. But sometimes, pain is part of life that must be accepted. While it sounds overly prosaic, the old saying is true: even a rose garden has thorns. We can learn things from both the roses and the thorns. Both can be teachers on how to live more fully.
(Personal note: Please, no recommendations on things I should try. I’m actively involved in my medical care. Thank you!)
Photo by MTSOfan on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA