I’ve been staying in regular contact with my close friends. We’ve been talking by phone more often. Our conversations repeat various themes. In addition to discussing the news of the COVID 19 pandemic, we share the range of emotional states we experience. It seems that we’re all cycling through fear, nervousness, disbelief, sadness, and resignation. In that cycle, there are moments when something brings us calm: a spring flower, a joke on social media, or escaping into TV shows or books. But later, we’re back to the cycle of difficult emotions.
Many aspects of life’s normalcy have been disrupted. We had routines and schedules that no longer seem relevant. It was those routines, schedules, and the assumptions we made about them that gave our lives order and a sense of control. Now, so much seems out of our control. Also, we need to rethink our routines, from how we work and go to school to what precautions we take when shopping and bringing food into our homes. I know of couples that are dating who, because of social distancing, have chosen not to spend time together but to only meet virtually. Extended families I know no long share Sunday dinner but meet for an hour on Sunday evenings for video chat by way of an online app. Yes, there are so many changes to what seemed so normal.
Taken together, the range of emotions we experience and the need to rethink what were familiar patterns lead us to an overall feeling of exhaustion. We are mentally and emotionally drained. Many of us are sleeping longer while others have more disturbed sleep. Living with this new pandemic wears on us in ways we wouldn’t have expected. Each aspect of our lives is being examined in light of the pandemic.
Before this pandemic, many people stumbled over processing difficult emotions when they were experienced. Rather than work through fear, sadness, tension, or anger, many people overeat, lash out at others, get lost in their work, or freeze the feelings and try to compartmentalize it. I suspect for people with these patterns, the solutions they’ve used before just don’t work.
Here’s a thought: perhaps it would be healthier to simply identify and name the emotions we are having. Yes, there are times I am angry. There are times I am afraid. There are other times when I feel hopeless. And still other times I feel like anything I do isn’t going to matter. Worst of all, I can feel all of these things in less than an hour. What’s amazing is that when I become aware of the emotional cycle and admit that it has a hold of me, I can step away from these emotions just a bit. Sometimes I laugh at myself, realizing that being angry or afraid doesn’t do a bit of good. Other times I just think, “Well, you’re just wasting energy!” There are other times when I catch myself spinning with emotions and I know that I just need to stop. That’s when I remember that I already know how to stop the cycle. Having established a spiritual practice comes in handy. I can sit down stop, close my eyes, and focus my attention on my breathing. I become aware of the air as it enters my nostrils as it fills my sinuses, then fills my lungs. I hold it. Then slowly exhale and observe the sensations as the air leaves my body. Just doing that for a few brief moments interrupts the cycle of emotions that spin around inside of me.
Over the weeks and months ahead as we move through this pandemic, we will have a variety of intense emotions. There’s nothing wrong with that. The emotions remind us that we’re living through something difficult. But we can manage our emotions if we allow ourselves to step back and remember the basic steps of spiritual practice. If that’s new for you or a particular challenge, then perhaps it’s a good time to connect with a spiritual director who can help you explore spiritual practice more fully and to integrate those practices into your daily life. Many spiritual directors are available for online consultation.
Yes, during this pandemic, we are experiencing a wide range of emotions. There’s nothing unusual about all of the emotions. If we remember our spiritual practice, we will move forward together with greater ease and grace.
Photo by Leo Reynolds on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA