Autumn 2019: After a week of vacation in South Dakota, I was home for a couple of weeks. I saw a couple of plays, had a few dinners out, and met a friend for drinks one evening. I went on two work-related trips. I hosted two houseguests from different parts of the country for the Thanksgiving holiday.
Autumn 2020: I’m at home most days. Going out means going to the grocery store or market or perhaps for a walk. A couple of times a month, close friends visit. When they do, it’s on the front porch with more than six feet between us. I haven’t traveled since January. I do not eat in restaurants, though I occasionally get take out from locally-owned places. Even if there was a live performance, I wouldn’t attend. Same with church services. My life is at home. I expect it to be this way through all of 2021.
Our lives have changed in many ways. I recognize that the changes in my life are a bit simpler than the changes many people have experienced. I don’t have children. I don’t have aging parents. I’ve primarily worked from home for many years. But there still are changes.
I used to take about a dozen flights each year. Over half of them were work-related and a couple were for leisure travel. I wouldn’t consider air travel right now. The planes are reasonably safe, but there’s a lot of other contacts that occur in travel and people just don’t take the well-being of others seriously. The things I’ve done for my social life are gone, including going to the gym a few times each week. If I see anyone other than my partner, it’s outdoors. While I am deliberate about regularly communicating with various friends, there are days I feel isolated and disconnected from others. The telephone, texting, email, and Zoom are substitutes for being physically present with others. Medical experts are clear: even if a vaccine is available for the public in 2021, we will still need to wear masks and maintain social distancing. Let’s be honest: our ways of living have changed and what we knew in 2019 won’t be returning any time soon.
Even though there are days I feel isolated from others, there have been positive changes that have occurred in my life. Yes, my day to day life is simpler, but I’m more aware of things around me. I appreciatethe time at home and enjoy the company of my spouse. I’ve taken on some projects and hobbies. It’s been great to have the opportunity to get to know people in my neighborhood a bit better. We talk outside, sometimes when walking or doing yard work. We weren’t unfriendly before. But now, we talk more and take time for each other.
What’s been most important for me is to step back and consider a fundamental choice: do I want to focus on the activities and habits I’ve lost that were part of my way of life in 2019 with a kind of myopic nostalgia? Or do I want to embrace life as it is, live each day as a gift, and accept life as it is?
Let’s be honest about life: it’s never predictable. Changes always occur. Entire communities can be swept away because of hurricanes or wildfires. (And they have been this year.) Or things in our lives change slowly as we adapt to new technology making the things we once thought of as novel seem very outdated. Change is the norm. The changes that happened this year have caught us off guard and many people fight against them. They want to return to the way life was in 2019.
We have a new way of being in 2020. We now live with a coronavirus that’s described as “novel.” Infection with it can lead to death, long term illness, and perhaps health issues later in life. (It’s too soon to be sure about long term effects, but medical researchers believe that long terms impacts are reasonable to expect.) We can wish all we want, but that doesn’t change reality. Our new reality includes wearing masks, washing hands, and maintain physical distance from others.
Part of what’s helped me to adjust is to recognize that people 100 years made these same changes because of a flu pandemic. The flu virus from that pandemic is still around. It lives on in the seasonal flu that spreads around the globe each year.
That other thing that has helped me a great deal is to realize that to be alive today is itself a gift. To pine for what is lost, to want to go back to what was, only prevents me from fully experiencing life as it is today. With that realization, I begin each day with thanks and gratitude. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sunny day or if it’s blowing cold rain and is absolutely dreary. The day, as it presents itself, is a gift. Today is an opportunity to live fully. This is a moment in time that will only happen once, so I want to relish the wonder of simply being alive right now.
Yes, there are many things I used to do that I enjoyed. I have some great memories. But I’ll have other memories if I enjoy and appreciate life today. Yes, the joy in life I find today will help to sustain me in years to come.
Image from Zoom.net