Two things are true. Life is beautiful, amazing, and inspiring. Life is also challenging, difficult, and tragic. How do we live fully while embracing this fundamental paradox about life itself?
The following is a text version of this blog posting.
Two things are true. First, life is overwhelming with its beauty, richness, and wonder. We experience life’s goodness in the sunrise, the tender love offered by another, steadfast friendship, or the blooming flowers of spring. Life is truly amazing. The second thing that’s true is life can be painful, difficult, tragic, and fundamentally unjust. We know of the ravages of war in many parts of the world, hunger and deprivation, people living in poverty, and the systemic impacts of things like racism and nationalism. Most people tend to focus on either the wonders of life or the tragedies. But both exist. How do we balance these two realities?
Let’s be honest: it’s difficult to live with the conflicting realities of life as amazing and wonderful and life as painful and tragic. Many people focus on one aspect or the other, having difficulty in holding onto both at the same time. In that process, many people use religion and spirituality as a way to escape life’s realities. Some people use spiritual or religious practice as a way to insulate themselves in a safe place that’s focused on having a peaceful comfort zone for themselves. Others think that they can avoid life’s difficulties and experience bliss in every moment by their focus on positive thoughts and actions. Of course, having a positive outlook on life is important, but that doesn’t change the truth that life is both beautiful and painful.
Instead, we need to learn to live with the conflicting truths about life: that it is amazing and beautiful as well as it is difficult and painful. Drawing on different spiritual traditions, I want to talk about four ways that help us to embrace the inherent balance of life’s wonder and tragedy.
First, the Buddha began his teaching with the first Noble Truth: the world is full of suffering. We begin to live in the balance of the polarities of life by accepting that there is suffering in the world. Life is difficult. No matter how wonderful someone’s life may seem, suffering will inevitably enter that person’s life. It comes in different forms, like teenagers experiencing their first break-up or at some point in life experiencing the loss of a loved one. Of course, for people in places like Syria or Ukraine, the reality of life’s pain is much broader. It’s important to accept that life’s pain comes to all of us.
Second, and this is something found in Buddhism, Christianity, indigenous traditions, and paganism: all things are passing. Nothing lasts forever. The wonder of the sunset you observe will end as night falls. The tenderness of the touch of a loved one’s embrace will end as the other person moves on to simply doing something else. Tragedies, too, have an ending. We learn to reorganize our lives when a loved one dies, we find new homes after fires and hurricanes, and everything changes. That’s the nature of life. We witness it each day with the cycle of sunrise and sunset and each year with the changing of seasons. We can’t step out of it. Whatever we are experiencing, for good or for bad, doesn’t last forever.
Third, there is a sentiment that’s found in various traditions, ranging from Judaism to the Celtic tradition. It’s often expressed as a form of blessing: that you experience enough happiness in life to balance life’s difficulties. This sentiment conveys the importance of recognizing the balance of life. We need to recognize that even when we don’t understand it, our lives are marked by both beauty and tragedy.
Fourth, when we live in the paradox that life is simultaneously beautiful and very challenging, we’re better able to live mindfully in the present moment. It’s exactly then that we’re able to pause and hold onto the moments of beauty, love, kindness, and wonder. We never get tired of them. Because we recognize that moment by moment, all things are passing. So, when we can, for as long as we can, we need to embrace the good that comes our way.
Two things are true about life and they fundamentally conflict with each other. Life is amazing and beautiful. Life is also challenging and difficult. We are able to accept these truths and live in this conflict when we are open to experiencing life each day as it comes.