Making Sense of Spiritual Direction

As a new year begins, perhaps you’ve made a resolution or set a goal to focus more on spirituality or spiritual practice in your life.  A very helpful way to do that is to work with a spiritual director.  In this video, I explain some aspects of the process of spiritual direction and some things to consider when looking for a spiritual director or spiritual companion.

Spiritual direction:  it’s an odd term.  People aren’t sure what it is.  And a spiritual director – that sounds like someone who’s going to tell you what to do.  But a spiritual director doesn’t give directions. 

Some people are using the term “spiritual companionship.”  I think that’s just as confusing.  It gets away from the top-down connotation of “director.”  But a companion sounds like a person you hang out with for coffee or who goes with you to a movie – a companion, not a friend but someone you hang out with.

What is spiritual direction? Spiritual direction is a practice of speaking with a person called a spiritual director about one’s spiritual experience or the spiritual dimension of life.  The process of spiritual direction is meant to help someone grow more deeply in their spiritual experience as well as to integrate spirituality with other aspects or dimensions of life.

While spiritual direction looks like counseling or therapy, it’s not.  The similarity is that two people meet together in a private setting and talk.  Counseling or therapy is aimed at solving a problem in life.  When a person works with a counselor, goals are set and a care plan is developed.  When the goals are met and the problem is resolved, counseling or therapy is done.

In spiritual direction, there are no specific goals.  It’s not aimed at a problem.  Instead, spiritual direction is orientated to support a person’s growth to wholeness.  At some point, a person may decide that they’ve done as much as they want to do with a particular spiritual director, but the process of growing to wholeness never really ends.

What we call spiritual direction today has been called many other things in the past across various wisdom traditions.  In early Christianity, people sought out those who were called father or mother for their wisdom.  That’s true in Judaism where specific rabbis were known as great spiritual teachers.  In indigenous traditions, various people played roles to help a person find a sense of vision for life.  These are all different kinds of roots for what we now call spiritual direction.

What’s a spiritual director?  No one credential says this person is officially a spiritual director.  Traditionally, spiritual directors were identified because they were known for walking the walk and not just talking the talk.  Today, things are a bit more complicated.  Yes, many charlatans take advantage of people in the name of spirituality and religion.  Some people mean well but lack proper training.

There are many spiritual direction training programs, particularly in North America.  Some of them are well-designed and well-managed.  Few are at universities but may be in retreat houses, monasteries, or other settings.  Good ones have a program that takes place over two to three years and require participants to both be in spiritual direction throughout the program and to have a supervisor when they start working as a spiritual director.  When I say the programs take place over two or three years, that may be like a weekend a month, or several weeks over a summer.  Programs that meet for a short amount of time, like three or four virtual sessions total aren’t very credible to me.  I know of one program where the first year is spent reading a list of books and writing a one-page reflection on each book.  That doesn’t prepare someone as a spiritual director.

This is a case of buyer beware.  Look around.  Ask questions.  Find out a spiritual director’s background, training, and experience.

As for me, I have very unique preparation.  In addition to my own spiritual practice over decades and studying with teachers from different traditions, I completed a two-year master’s program.  Part of that two-year program, for 48 graduate credits, included engaging in individual spiritual direction and spiritual direction with groups.  We were supervised in that process.  That program doesn’t exist any longer. 

If you’re serious about the spiritual dimension of your life, then you should do some work with a spiritual director.  A good spiritual director will carefully listen to you.  The spiritual director will help you discern what’s important and right for you.  You’ll be asked questions that cause you to think and, at times, look at things that are difficult for you.  It’s all meant to help you grow. 

Would you grow without a spiritual director?  Yes, probably.  But that growth may be like one of my houseplants.  I often let my houseplants stay in one place too long.  They start to grow in a lopsided way.  That’s especially true with a peace lily that is in front of a window in a room we don’t use very much.  It’s growing,  But it generally is growing toward the window at a tilt rather than straight up.  I need to turn it more often and, well….I just don’t.  Spiritual direction will help you to grow in a balanced way, in a way that’s even, that helps you integrate the spiritual dimension of life with all the other aspects of your life.