Here’s something you probably don’t know. Almost all living organisms have the ability to hear. Yes, all animals have the sense of hearing. So do plants. There are creatures are called “extremophiles.” They live in extreme conditions like at the bottom of the ocean in total darkness, in the artic under ice, and even in some places deep underground. They all hear. They don’t necessarily have ears or take in auditory information the same way as humans, but they have some form of hearing – the ability to process sound waves around them. It seems that being able to hear one’s environment is needed for survival.
Usually, we give great importance to our sense of sight. Our vocabulary demonstrates this. We talk about having a vision for our future or that someone is a visionary leader. Our spiritual traditions talk about enlightenment and finding light in the midst of darkness. When we understand something, we may say things like “I see.” Some years ago, a friend donated to a group which allowed me to name a star. I named my star “Lou’s Vision.” Yes, we value the sense of sight, vision, and seeing a great deal. However, many living organisms do not have sight nor any comparable way to process information like seeing. Vision is not critical to survival. But hearing seems to be.
Throughout my career, I’ve taught listening skills to students in mental health programs and to those training to serve as spiritual directors and ordained ministers. One of the greatest challenges in teaching listening skills is to teach people to just listen: to be in the moment, to be present, to listen fully. Most people only half listen. While a person is speaking, they begin to formulate a response to what the person is saying. When that happens, the listener isn’t listening but thinking. Much of what’s communicated is lost because the listener is no longer present to the other but caught up in the listener’s own thoughts.
To be present and to listen mean to receive the speaker fully as the person is at that moment. It’s an act of hospitality. By fully listening, we allow the other to come into our lives and we become present only to that person. As listeners, we put ourselves in second place.
In addition, listening is an act of compassion. By listening, we actively demonstrate care for the other and communicate that the speaker is worth our time and attention.
Listening also changes the experience of time. Rather than rushing from event to event or multi-tasking, listening slows us down and allows us to be fully present in the here and now.
Recently, I spent an evening with a friend. There were some things troubling me. I had thought my problem through and even journaled about the situation, but the problem still bothered me. My friend saw in my face that I was carrying a burden. I began to speak. He was silent and listened. When I shared all that I had to say, he affirmed what he heard and expressed support. Having someone listen to me eased the tension I experienced. I no longer felt alone. In fact, it seemed as though my burden was lifted even though nothing about the situation has changed.
Listening is of critical importance in spiritual practice. Meditation and contemplative prayer are practices of listening, of maintaining silence to be present to a mystery that is within us and around us. Christians commonly refer to the sacred scriptures as “the word of God.” While the Bible itself presents Jesus as the actual Word of God, the Christian metaphor of the Bible as “the Word” suggests that listening is key to spiritual understanding. It’s no wonder that the founder of Western Christian monasticism, St. Benedict, begins his rule for monks with one word: listen.
Listening is central to the survival of all living things on Earth. In addition, it’s by listening to others that we build solid bonds in our relationships, express care and compassion, and provide space for another to become whole. Even more, listening is foundational for the maturity of the spiritual dimension of our lives. It’s by listening that we move beyond the limits of self to experience something greater than ourselves in others, in the world, and in the Mystery which is the Source of All Being. In this context, the words of Jesus underscore the importance of listening: let those who have ears listen!
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